It’s been 4 years of not drinking and I don’t see this changing anytime soon. I don’t miss it. I like to think that I’d have reached this point no matter what my circumstances were, as the more time I spend not drinking the more strongly I feel about it. I drafted a rough outline of this post quite a while ago, and now with the opening of Bristol’s first sober bar the Arc last year, and the annual recurrence of Dry January, it feels as good a time as any to share my thoughts and my own experiences.

I never regularly drank in excess. For large social gatherings, and as someone who is naturally more reserved and introverted, a drink always made me feel a bit more comfortable and at ease. However I’ve now been to enough parties and weddings as a non-drinker that I no longer notice, and I’m perfectly happy chatting to people I’ve not met before (in fact it’s really lovely to meet new people!)

So how did I end up here?

In late March 2020 I moved back to my parents’ house for the first covid lockdown. We very rarely drink together as a family (my dad retired his party hat a couple of decades ago), and because I wasn’t doing any in-person socialising I didn’t feel the need to pour a drink. (My personal coping mechanisms included a lot of crafting, baking and gardening.) When the restrictions eased later that year I happened to go on some medication that meant I wasn’t allowed to drink for several months. So when March 2021 rolled around it had been pretty much a year of not drinking.

The third lockdown restrictions slowly eased and social events started happening again. I found I just wasn’t that interested in having a gin and tonic, a cider or a glass of wine. This was in no small part due to the fact that if I had even one drink, the next day I’d feel like I’d had 5, fully hungover, exhausted and generally feeling rough. At this point some may have chosen to rebuild their tolerance to alcohol but it made no sense to me – why would I want to consume more of something that was having such a negative impact on my body? Additionally, by this point I’d been in various social settings without drinking and was getting used to feeling pretty normal about it. I was curious to see if I could keep going without drinking. It felt easier to be completely teetotal rather than have the odd drink and risk the consequences. The last time I drank alcohol was in January 2022 at a wedding (and the last time I drank regularly was prior to March 2020). 11 sober weddings later and I can’t see myself going back.

So much of UK social culture revolves around alcohol which is pretty bizarre when you think about it. Sometimes people drink only because everyone else is, demonstrating how deeply ingrained it is into our modern society. If you’re reading this then there’s a chance you might be thinking about stopping drinking or drinking less. If you’re used to always drinking in social settings then of course it may feel slightly weird or unnatural to start with, but you will get used to it. And if your friends are decent people they’ll support you too. There’s no need to make a big announcement, friends will slowly catch on. You can always play the designated driver card if you don’t feel like explaining! On group holidays I make sure to not be included in any alcohol costs if there are group supermarket trips or restaurant bills, but that’s the extent of anything I have to consider.

There are so many benefits to not drinking, aside from the obvious ones of health and saving money. Working a 9-5 job means my weekends are precious and I don’t want to waste a day feeling rough. I also feel that you can’t fully experience something in a truly authentic and genuine manner if you’re drinking. Can you truly be 100% present in the moment? And what does it mean if you can only have fun when you’re drinking?

I no longer feel the need for alcohol as a social lubricant. I’m not bothered by small instances of silence in conversation or a moment of awkwardness. And if someone prefers to be around me when I am drinking then that’s not someone I need in my life.

More and more people are choosing not to drink, or to drink less, and the ‘sober curious’ movement continues to grow in popularity. Most of my close friends are not big drinkers. I’d always prefer to meet up with a few friends and have meaningful conversations over dinner, a cup of tea, or a walk in nature, rather than going to a large party or spending hours and hours in a pub.

Bars and restaurants are gradually catching on and providing more interesting and considered non-alcoholic options. I’ve enjoyed some delicious creative drinks in Bristol at the restaurants Caper and Cure and Little Hollows which were full of flavour. The Bristol-based kombucha company Counter Culture stock in establishments across the city, offering a wide range of delicious flavours that are low in sugar too. And Bristol’s first sober bar the Arc opened last year which I’m looking forward to visiting. There’s an awful lot more out there than elderflower cordial!

I know that some say they love the taste of certain wines, beers or other drinks. De-alcoholised drinks are only improving in taste, and mid-strength drinks are becoming more common too. Although in a similar vein to how some vegetarians and vegans aren’t interested in ‘fake meat’, I can’t say I’m interested in fake alcohol (such as de-alcoholised wines) myself. I’d rather have a tasty kombucha, save the calories and enjoy a lovely dessert instead! Though it can be a great way to ease into an alcohol-free life.

I absolutely think it’s okay to choose to drink, but if you’re solely reliant on drinking to have a good time then it might be time to reassess. Similarly, if you can’t just have one drink and it always spirals into many more. I know that drinking can be a difficult and complicated  subject for some and I hope I’ve handled it in a reasonable way, I’m cognisant of the fact that I’ve only scratched the surface. I also hope that this blog post has encouraged you to pause and reflect on your own thoughts around drinking.

And a final disclaimer – I am always grateful if someone brings over a bottle of wine as a gift, however realistically I’m only going to give it to another person or wait for someone else to drink it when I’m next hosting. I would be considerably more excited about some chocolate, baked goods, homemade preserve or a bunch of flowers.

Alexa

All the photos in this post are of non-alcoholic drinks.